Updated: Oct 23, 2019
I am continually learning and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, I know it's not a day wasted because I am becoming - becoming whatever it is I want.
Do you realise how powerful it is when you decide to be whatever you want and that we have the power to make it so?
Some days I am surprised how simple the lessons are. And some days I am completely confounded as to what the hell my Guide* is on about. One of his favourite tricks is to adjust the songs coming through my music streaming service. So much so that a new song appears and I find myself getting stuck on it. I obsess over it, hear it playing in my head day and night, I learn the lyrics, and play it on repeat over and over and over again. (The worst it has ever been is listening to the same song on repeat from Port Wakefield to the ranges just southwest of Port Augusta - about 2.5 hours - on my way to Whyalla where the AH HA moment hit - he thought that was brilliant.)
A new song has appeared this last week (see the vid below) hot on the heels of some deep questions and soul searching and I've done my usual thing. I've searched for the lyrics and even as I sit typing this I am listening to it for the sixth time; you'd think I'd be sick of it but nope. Often once I have figured out what he's telling me I don't or rarely listen to the song again. And in case you're wondering, yes, I ask him what he means and all I get is a smile and a "you'll figure it out" eyebrow raise or head nod. As an aside - so helpful, huh?
This song has a few lines that stand out to me:
"Same bar, set high Burning it up like whisky to a fire I'd close my eyes But I ain't going out like this tonight"
"Coming on the dark we can lose our sight What I gotta do this for?"
"Running me down to the last round, running me down til the well runs out"
With this playing through my head I turned to a trusted oracle card deck, Chris-Anne's Sacred Creator Oracle to see if I could garner any further insights. Raw Intention popped up and it sang true to where I am currently.
- It's important to remember that no matter what is highlighted to us, it is never a mistake and I've learned the hard way that there is no point berating ourselves for our choices - there is only ever lessons. -
So with this in mind I dove in: Raw Intention speaks of holding on so tight that you stop the magic. Like a child holding on to a chick too tight so as to throttle life, or in my case, intellectualising something that should flow and disallowing the synchronicities and the voice of Source to be heard. Immediately I returned to the lyrics: Ugh, seriously? How does this speak to me? Perfectionist me is trying too hard, I'm refining and polishing instead of allowing this in its rawest form. I'm blinkered and not allowing the magic of it all to unfold. I'm grasping and I've stopped listening. Interestingly, in this last week I have fallen ill too; I've run myself down til the well ran out.
I'm not sick of listening to this song yet which says there is more to unfold with this, it's just the tip of the iceberg. This isn't a new lesson for me either but more a lifelong challenge and I'm sure it will appear again so I can ride the wave a little more next time.
What will I do? Go back to listening. Return to trusting it and letting it flow instead of trying to turn it into an intellectual activity. There is nothing wrong with that but the way I've learned to work is to let the ideas come and make it something purposeful from the pearls of wisdom I receive. It's all too easy, especially in our all go society, to forget the pearls are not ours but are granted to those that listen - it's the way of creativity, it moves through us.
As for my Guide, is he happy? Gleefully, in his usual laidback "I knew you had it in you" style. I have questions for him and he will get grilled a little later which I am sure will result in me having more questions for myself. I often lament to him, why can't he just tell me, why be cryptic, but in truth, I enjoy the challenge and the discovery. It adds to the satisfaction of figuring it out and deepens my tendency to actually listen. Perhaps there is more value to be found in the gold that is buried than that which is on the surface...
I wonder: What does this card speak of to you? Is there somewhere you can allow more raw intention into your life?
*For those who don't know I have a very special guide who likes to give me cryptic clues and he thoroughly enjoys sitting back and chuckling as he watches me unravel his hidden message. It's never done in a malicious manner but as he keeps reminding me, I'm far more than I believe myself to be and he likes to watch me live up to his challenges. As a result he gets sworn at quite a bit...
Song: Howling, by Wild Rivers